Dating a employee
“Other than that,” says Segal lightly, “asking for dates is risk free.” In your training, he suggests, stress that when people are in boss-subordinate positions, even attempting to date is risky—it gives a club to the subordinate that he or she can use down the road.“My recommendation,” Segal says, “is to dissuade.” Some organizations require that managers and supervisors report to management before they start dating, he notes.The issue of subordinate dating is an issue of power, Segal says. So far so good, says Segal, but in the real world, now comes the performance appraisal time, and guess what, it’s a negative one.The subordinate will claim that the poor appraisal was due to her refusing the date request.(By the way, he points out, that probably includes HR in almost every case.) If you opt to prohibit dating, Segal says, there’s one important thing to do before implementing the policy.Check out your senior managers to see if they have a history of dating employees.
If nobody seems to notice, there's no reason to share. You and your new partner need to agree on some ground rules and come up with a plan for how you will keep it professional and stay within written or unwritten rules. "You may have the burden of overcompensating with professionalism and keeping an artificial distance, which can be an awkward strain," says Taylor.If senior managers have dated or are dating subordinates, you’ve got a problem, because if you don’t say no there, your policy is not meaningful.Finally, Segal says, recognize that prohibition of dating may simply drive relationships underground.Segal’s remarks came as part of his “Harassment Quiz” at SHRM’s recent Annual Convention and Exposition in New Orleans. Because in the real world, how does a subordinate say no? One good way to talk to managers is to make the point that some things go over the line the first time (for example, “Let’s have sex,” or the use of the “N” word) and some things go over the line the second time (the persistent dating requests).Segal is a partner in the Philadelphia office of law firm Duane Morris LLP. Not wanting to say what she really feels (“I’d rather hang by pins in my eyes than date you”), she says “I’m busy.” The boss hears, “She’d love to, but she can’t this time.” So he asks again. Now back to the scenario of the supervisor who asked for a date, the subordinate refused, and it appeared that there was no harassment.